Well today took an unexpected turn for the worse at some stage this afternoon, and I've no idea why. No trigger, nothing, just a dip in mood and increase in anxiety, more noticeable than it has been for a while. There are a couple of other less than exciting happenings to add to this - sleep is getting increasingly hard to come by, I'm finding it tough to actually fall asleep, and my memory is shot again. I actually forgot a dentist appointment for the kids today, that is so unlike me it's not even funny. Few too many flags for my liking.
Someone who reads the blog contacted me a while back with some interesting information. I won't reproduce her mail here as I haven't asked her permission, but the gist of it was that hormones could be playing a really big part in this. We all like to joke about PMS, but for some people, it goes way beyond a tetchy mood for a couple of days, and can actually have a significant impact on well being.
A lot of it read very familiar to me - I've never been able to tolerate the pill, and my last experience with it caused such a severe reaction (insane, uncontrollable mood swings) that I had to stop it after just 10 days. I get wicked PMS, absolutely wicked, always have. This reader was advised to try an oestrogen patch from about day 18 in her cycle, and it's made a phenomenal difference to her.
So why am I bringing this up now? I'm wondering if this could be part of what's going on for me. Today is day 16 which would put me pretty much on the money for a spike in hormones (not sure which ones). I've talked about it with Therapist and she thinks it makes a lot of sense, and is certainly worth following up. I realise I may be clutching at straws as I'm back to wanting to be off/not needing medication/therapist, but that could also my symptomatic of how I'm feeling today.
I'm aware that I'm rambling, sorry about that. It's been a strange day. Three more weeks till Therapist is back..........